Our Family

Our Adoption Journey

Even before we met, both of us hoped to include adopted children into our future family. Letty always said one from every continent would be fabulous, Richard would laugh and say ‘even Antarctica?’ and the discussion went on from there. Shortly after we were married, Richard and I discovered we have medically unexplained infertility, and during our first five years of our marriage we underwent many medical procedures without success. While these trials were difficult to experience, we emerged with a stronger marriage and even stronger faith in God’s love for us.

We moved forward with our adoption plans in 2013, and through some truly miraculous events, were able to bring home our oldest son, Jack, in 2014. In 2015, about six weeks after we had specifically UNPLANNED to adopt that year, our daughter Juliette joined us. And then, out of the blue in 2017, Isaiah let us know he was on the way - first Jack, then Richard, and finally Letty got the idea that a baby was coming, and then suddenly, a friend was asking us if we knew anyone ready to adopt. And we were! Isaiah is a bundle of incredible joy, both to us and to his birth family.  

Open Adoption is very important to both of us. We believe that a child is only made stronger by having more people in their lives who love them unconditionally. Going to visit our children's birth families and having them come visit us in St. Louis, in addition to phone calls, letters and FaceTime, has added great richness both to our and to our children's lives. We loved the crazy "extended family" photo shoot we did with Isaiah's birth family, as well as the intimate one on one photos we have with birth siblings and birth parents - our children read their birth storybooks Letty made for them and love to see pictures and hear about ALL of their loved ones.

Isaiah, our family, and his entire Birth Family

Juliette picking apples with her Birth Dad Carlos. 

Our hope is that you will feel comfortable enough in our family to be a regular part of our lives.  We know what a powerful resource a birth parent can be in answering questions about  heritage and background, and reassuring our child that your choice for adoption demonstrates the depth of your love for them. While we are strong proponents of open adoption, we realize that every individual will have different levels of comfort, and are completely willing to abide by your wishes  about the degree of openness you desire

Jack, Juliette and Isaiah's Birth sister and step sister

How We Met

First Meeting

We were 12 year olds, each attending the same congregation, and each spending the wee hours of the morning delivering newspapers for the same local newspaper in a small town in Southeast Iowa.

But we actually don't remember much about each other from the brief year Letty's family lived in that town. We’d like to say the stars aligned and we became best friends that turned into something more over the years - Anne of Green Gables style. Not so much. Neither of us had even the slightest recollection that there had ever been a Preston girl or a Goering boy. Letty remembered his sisters, Richard remembered her brothers, but that was the end of a common story. 

It was the also the beginning of an uncommon story. Both of us would travel a difficult road trying to find true love before reuniting 15 years later – again in church building, this time in St. Louis. Richard was working for Boeing and getting a Master’s degree, living with his best friends from college. Letty was visiting her parents (who now lived in St. Louis) and working as an internet content writer. After they closed the church building, we continued the discussion in the parking lot until 2 am - sitting on the hood of Letty's red Ford Escort, Betsy.

Laughing Together

Surprise! Tickle Attack!

Letty cleverly told Richard her mother would want to feed him dinner, and got his number. In that late night chat, Letty had bragged to Richard that she was amazing at creative surprises. (And she is). He expressed doubt, so she brought him a nifty present the next time they met. Richard declared she deserved a reward, and took her for a walk along the college campus (which he claims was a date and Letty claims was a trick). Richard lost his heart when he dared Letty to soak her head in a sprinkler, and she DID! 

Surprise! Cupboard Attack!

Letty knew Richard was her kinda man when, on a different date, he squeezed himself into a tiny cupboard and waited for her to come along  - just to hear her startled shriek. Our courtship continued as it began, a series of games and practical jokes interspersed with lots of long talks about the family and life each of us wanted to have. Laughter is an essential part of who we are and how we love each other, and we look forward to adding children to the mix.

The prize for epic practical joke, however, goes to Letty. In the early days, before Richard had met all Letty’s immediate family members,  she arranged to meet Richard and his friend at a coffee shop near campus. She dropped her teenage sister and her sister’s best friend off around the corner, and sat down with Richard. About 10 minutes later their table was accosted by two teenage girls shrieking and swooning that it was "really him," begging Richard for a picture and an autograph and then running on their shrieking way after he obliged. He was stunned. He accused his friend of setting it up. The people at the next table asked him if he wrote for Hannah Montana. Letty kept a straight face. A week later she brought him home for dinner – and introduced his #1 superfan - her kid sister.

First Kiss

We had our first kiss at the top of the Ferris Wheel at Six Flags – we got a caricature done on the date. A week before Richard proposed we were back at Six Flags – with another caricature from the same artist for the memory book. He came to our wedding and gave us our third caricature as a wedding present. To propose, Richard wrote an entire children's storybook, starring our two favorite Build-A-Bear gifts to each other, a talking turtle named Humphrey and rabbit named Honey Bunny. In the story, the plucky Humphrey goes about winning the heart of the Princess by slaying dragons and fighting windmills. One night, in a carriage, Richard pulled the book out and began to read. By the time Humphrey and Honey Bunny reached Happily Ever After, Richard was down on one knee and Letty was in tears and saying ‘Yes!’  

We were married on a lovely day in April  in the St. Louis LDS Temple. We had a fabulous wedding reception in a venue that looked like a castle, and our adventure officially began.

(see pictures at the end of this post). We were both thrilled that we would be living so close to both of our families. Letty’s parents now live on Mark Twain lake in rural Missouri, and Richard’s parents live on the property he grew up on in rural Iowa. Tons of siblings and nephews and nieces live close enough for gatherings several times a year – read more about them and see pictures at this link or by clicking on the 'families' tabs!

The summer before we were married Richard also bought his first home - cleverly taking Letty house-hunting with him - 'just for a feminine opinion.' Follow this link for pictures of our darling first home or click on the tab 'Sweet Home' at the top of the page. 

How We Live

We love our home-town of St. Louis, and are huge fans of Cardinals games, Fitz’s Rootbeer and Ted Drew’s ice-cream, all iconic must-have St. Louis experiences. We have memberships to the St. Louis Zoo, Science Center, Magic House and Six Flags, as well as have the location of every splash pad park plugged into the GPS. It truly is a remarkably wonderful city for children to play in. We also love that St. Louis is ideally located such a short drive from lots of other fabulous cities! We regularly visit Chicago (museums and theatre), Kansas City (friends and family), and Nashville (food and music). 

Prudent Thrill Seekers

We could both be described as ‘prudent’ thrill-seekers, because we are usually up for anything that seems unlikely to kill us, and within the range of our physical ability to accomplish. For example, we rappelled down a waterfall in Mexico (a small one) and discovered a love for zip-lining in Mexico as well. We recently tried white water rafting and loved it! Letty’s current vacation ambition is to go paragliding, and Richard would like to try skydiving. But neither of us will ever be seen on a YouTube video performing reckless feats of daring – we are strictly amateurs

Richard was astonished when Letty expressed a desire to go horseback riding on their honeymoon. Come to find out, a horse is pretty much the only animal she voluntarily touches, and she is bonkers over them. We are what you might call horseback tourists – both of us like horseback riding and try and go in each place we visit. At the last family reunion for Letty's family in Pigeon Forge, Tennesee we took the opportunity to introduce Jack to this same love of horse. He was a big fan! 

Letty loves being on the water in every kind of boat, and we also enjoy bicycle riding – basically Letty gets her cardio every way she can think of that does not  involve running. Richard, however, loves to run, and completing his first marathon only fanned the flame. 

Holiday Traditions

The Goering family is BIG into the holidays - Letty goes all out. She has bins of decorations for each holiday stacked in the garage, and the house is always festive. We make homemade Valentine's Day cards for each other, go to Chicago to see them dye the river green each St. Patrick's Day, and hold an Easter Dinner (completely with competitive Peeps jousting and an egg fight) at our home each year. We spend the 4th of July at Richard's extended family reunions in Iowa, or on the Lake at Letty's parents home near Hannibal, MO, reveling in the massive fireworks purchased by our pyro brothers (we have one). In the fall we pick apples at Eckerts farm, go on hayrides, do corn mazes, and of course, visit Pumpkinland as many times as the kids can successfully beg us to go. Halloween is spent trick or treating and having neighborhood block parties. Letty makes 10 different pies for our Thanksgiving feast every year, and we always going to the historic ‘Santa’s of the World’ parade in old town St. Charles, MO each year. The kids LOVE to meet each Santa Claus from around the world and collect their trading cards, not to mention a photo op with Rudolph. And Shhhh - they think the big guy in the red suit is the real deal! That may have something to do with them getting individualized letters with a North Pole stamp in the mail last year, as well as an app Letty has on her phone to trigger a call from Santa Claus himself when behavior needs to be rewarded (or warned against.) We also choose a family to give Secret Santa gifts each year, make LOTS of homemade candy to doorbell ditch deliver, and see each of our families in a two week long celebration where we have to celebrate each of the 12 days of Christmas with small themed gifts for each other. Every holiday is spent with some combination of siblings, grandparents and cousins. 

The Travel Bug

We were both 29 when we got married, and each of us had already been bitten with the travel bug. Starting with a honeymoon in Mexico, we have done our best to continue to feed the travel addiction. We have visited St. Thomas, Turks and Caicos, England, France, Czech Republic, Austria, Sweden, the Deep South (yes, we count that as a separate country) and lots of other wonderful destinations within the U.S. For specific details and some fabulous pictures, use this link or click on the ‘Our Travels’ tab.

Home Sweet Home

However, regardless of the all the exotic places we have visited, our favorite place to be is home, doing simple things like cleaning the water lilies out of our fish pond, working in the trees on the back of the property, going for a twilight walk in one of the many neighborhood parks, and hosting BBQs in our backyard and patio. Letty grew up moving a lot, and having a group of loving (and hilarious) friends and family to hang out with on the weekends as our kids play together is a lifelong dream come true. Since adding kids the backyard has grown by a shed to house all the bikes and toys, a cover for the coi pond, a firepit for roasting marshmallows, a sand box, water table, and kiddie swimming pool and slip n slide system. Richard's summer goal is to build a kid-sized American Ninja Warrior style obstacle course. (Our oldest, Jack, is obsessed with that show.)

 How We Want to Be

Building Our Family Through Deliberate Parenting

Richard and I have always spent perhaps an unusual amount of time talking about how we want our family to be. We were talking about it on our second date, we were talking about it on our wedding day, and we have talked about it every day since. We never get tired of discussing our children's unique personalities and needs -there definitely is no one-size fits all parenting strategy. Each kid needs a different approach. Letty is an active member of an online community called Power of Moms, where they talk a lot about 'deliberate parenting' - a phrase that basically means taking the time to really think about the best way to parent each of the little souls you are privileged to have in your home. Kind, loving and brave kids don't just happen by accident. We have a family motto “No empty chairs.” To us this means a home so constantly filled with friends and family that every seat is taken, and no empty places will remain around our heavenly table.

A Full Time HomeMaker

We are so grateful for Richard’s success in his career that has created the opportunity for Letty to be a full-time homemaker. We take the word 'homemaker' literally, she is the CEO of the Goering household, and devotes every ounce of energy making a home for our kids. A home where love is spoken often and much, cookies are baked with regularity, and stories are told with gusto. A home where every voice is valued and heard, and soccer games, dance recitals and piano concerts are family affairs. We want to be that house on the block, where all the neighborhood children feel welcome to play, or grab an afternoon snack. And of course – do homework.

Education and Conversation
Because education is very important to both of us, each of our children will have the opportunity for higher education. We want them to not only explore their talents and abilities, but become able to provide for themselves and their families, entering an uncertain world with confidence that they will be able to succeed. We also believe that good parenting involves taking the time to check in with our kids on how they are feeling and what they are doing. Each night before bedtime each kid is asked to share with us "the happy and sad" of their day. What their tiny little successes might be (I learned the letter L!" and what makes them sad "I don't like the dog that barks at me in the park.) As they grow older these conversations will expand into a night out at a sporting event with mom, or a daddy-daughter date. Regardless of the setting, we believe that developing a habit of frequent conversation with your children helps them feel like they can turn to you in crisis.

Family Travel

We love to travel as a family – not only within the US to visit relatives and the occasional beach or mountain adventure (and Disneyworld, of course), but internationally as well. As the kids get older, we plan to have each child choose the international destination, and then have all the kids spend the year researching it, learning the language, choosing service projects there, museums to see, foods to eat etc. We want our kids to be savvy world travelers by the time they graduate high school. But that is not what is most important.

The Most Important

Most importantly? We want to raise strong, confident children who know and love Jesus Christ. Sure, we want them to be smart and sporty – but we care more that they are kind and brave. It is important to us that they grow up honoring the woman who gave them birth, understanding the depth of her love for them. We want each of them not only to know that they are loved unconditionally, but to feel secure in the obvious and demonstrative love their parents have for each other. The Reverend Theodore Hesburgh said “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Our children will witness daily the love we have for each other, and for each of them, and know they are an essential part of this forever family.  

Listen to the song "No Empty Chairs" HERE. Lyrics by Orrin Hatch, Music by Janice Kapp Perry

More Pictures

How We Met

Laughing Together


Lois and Clark for Halloween

Lois with Clark's hair dye rubbed all over her face.

No phone book? Substitute a car trunk The making of the Lois and Clark Halloween film.

First Kiss to Marriage



Six Flags Date - Our First Picture as a Couple

Richard takes Letty to a Medieval theatrical event and surprises her by having them picked up by a horse and carriage.

Richard as a knight - evening of proposal

Engaged! She said Yes!





 

How We Live

The Millenium Park 'Bean' sculpture'

 Prudent Thrill-seekers

Richard in Alabama - having fun in the rock formations during a hike.

Letty loves any and every activity that takes place on the water!

Richard and Letty - our first white water rafting experience!

We loved it!!